Friday, November 15, 2013

Bride says "I Do NOT"

I went to my wedding dress fitting yesterday. I already have my dress and don't ask me why I had to go for a fitting 10 months 9.65 months before my wedding... it's a long story.

My dress is a little bit tight on me. I've always been obsessed with food and my weight (sometimes in an unhealthy way) so I was relieved and happy when people told me I would lose weight before the wedding. Even the day I purchased my dress, when I told the sales consultant and the shop owner that the dress was tight, before suggesting alterations, they both said "Oh. Don't worry. You'll lose weight." Like I said, I felt relieved then, but I'm getting a little bit angry thinking about it now. Why would she imply that I would have to lose weight? I decided to have my dress altered to my size; I will not change my shape for my dress.

I've seen countless brides shed pounds for their big day and then gain it right back months after saying "I Do". Why would I want to be a part of that? I don't want to be looking at my wedding pictures in the future and see a version of myself that is not the natural me.

I decided to Google about brides who choose to not go down the lane society forces them on: brides who do not lose weight for their wedding. I was shocked at the results I got on Google. "Brides who do not lose weight" translated into "tips for brides who do not lose weight fast enough", "don't be a fat bride" and weight loss regimens with the picture of a "fitness expert" whose career revolves around shaming people into thinking they are not good enough. If there is one thing the crazy wedding industry says a bride needs (besides a groom) is a weight loss plan. There are so many things wrong with this and we have to STOP thinking this is acceptable.

We all have those "off" days when we feel like we do not look our best. As a bride-to-be, I feel like every day is becoming one of those "off" days because of what society thinks a bride should look like. When did engagement rings and wedding proposals come with a heavy dose of insecurity and an ugly mirror that only shows your flaws, your chubby and jiggly bits? Isn't this supposed to be one of the happiest times of my life?

I do NOT want any part in this body-shaming, guilt-tripping, unhealthy complex.

Of course, every bride wants to look beautiful on her wedding day. How do you become beautiful? Well, society has brainwashed us into thinking that being thin is beautiful.
But what we don't realize is that "thin" is a moving target. Someone who is a size 16 will consider a size 10 to be thin; someone who is a size 10 will consider a size 6 to be thin, etc. etc. Where does this crazy, unhealthy chain end? When we are all hungry at a size 0? To be completely transparent, I know I'm not fat (I think I have already mentioned this before). I'm a size 6, with Armenian hips and thighs, my arms are kind of chubby and I have a round face with big cheeks AND THAT'S OK because women are not supposed to look like GIRLS; women are supposed to look like WOMEN (hips, thighs and curves included).

I'm not against weight loss, exercising and eating well. (Now that you all know my size, you probably realize that I try to be healthy and don't eat chocolate and chips every time I have a craving. I try to eat everything in moderation.) I am simply extremely against forcing yourself to be something you're not. Owning your shape and being confident in your skin is a lot more beautiful and attractive than being insecure and trying to be something you're not. 

I know this is easier said than done and I know that I will be writing another blog post eventually talking about weight and body image but for now, Ladies... and Gentlemen (I have a feeling the fat shaming complex will get to you soon as well if it hasn't already), say a big (insert your own word)---YOU to society's crazy standards and live your life complex-free.

No recipe today; only food for thought.

1 comment:

  1. Tania my dear i absolutely agree with you and love your decisiveness! you should have seen me on my wedding day hehe i was HUGE and i felt like any other bride would feel if not happier on D day!
    unfortunately society is sick, after all my health problems they dare say to my husband but at least she lost weight she LOOKS BETTER now, and his reply (as it has always been) i loved her the way she was, i wish i could go back to those days where she had no pain and no health problems... of course they maybe do not believe him or get shocked by his answer but that's just people and they looove to gossip.
    a small tip from a person who's been there done that; on your day forget everything and just enjoy! smile big, dance a lot, and savor every moment!
    I thank GOD everyday for my perfect wedding!
    love you both and wish you the best!